Searching for that perfect summer getaway, but you’re low on the cashflow? Have I got the perfect budgeted vacation plans for you!
My name is Tyler and I’ll be your fictional vacation planner, your guide, your social director, and dance instructor for the rest of the summer (oh boy!) and I’m so excited to tell you about the amazing plans and packages that you could choose from to have the summer of your fictional dreams!
Isle Delfino (Super Mario Sunshine)
Risk Level: 1/5
Need a break from getting kidnapped all the darn time? Isle Delfino is a remote island getaway off the coast of the Mushroom Kingdom. The kind locals will treat you like one of their own and even throw a little party for you upon arrival! Well, unless someone who looks kinda sorta like you vandalizes the entire town. Then you might get thrown in jail and spend your entire vacation doing community service. But I digress! Aside from the alarming amount of carnivorous plant life, Delfino has plenty to offer! Beaches, amusement parks, sewers, you name it. *Beware of motherless children.
Paradise Falls (Disney•Pixar’s Up)
Risk Level: 3/5
Summerset Isles (The Elder Scrolls Online)
Risk Level: 4/5
Ah, the Summerset Isles! Home to the ever-elegant High Elves and perfect vacation spot in all of Tamriel. For those of you newcomers who love to keep things fresh with some spicy danger, the citizens are pompous and at the climax of war, so this is the vacation spot for you. From Alinor to Shimmerene, Summerset is lined with several views of beautiful flora, babbling brooks and flesh-eating monsters. Don’t forget to catch a glimpse of the astounding abyssal geysers, illegally summoned by the land’s daedric enemies. Absolutely breathtaking (literally).
Naboo (Star Wars)
Risk Level: 2/5 (on land) 5/5 (underwater)
Is there a better vacation spot in this galaxy far, far away? We say “Nah, boo.” The entire planet, ruled by a 14-year-old, is populated with friendly, human land-dwellers, as well as annoying sea-dwellers called Gungans. The lush terrain has many sites to see, including waterfalls, grassy plains, and glistening lakes: a perfect place to hold your loved ones close before you go coo-coo. Under these lakes, the Gungans have built entire cities and trade routes that go straight through the planet’s core! Maybe you’ll get the once-in-a-lifetime chance to see the majestic Colo claw fish! It’s once-in-a-lifetime because you probably won’t – Y’know what? I have a bad feeling about this.
Are any of these spots to your liking? Do you have any ideas of places we can inquire about adding to our package plans? Please let us know on Twitter! And most importantly, have a magical summer.
*This entire post is a parody, silly. We’re not actually sending you on a vacation.