Ladies. Gentlemen. You have eaten well. You’ve eaten Gotham’s wealth, its spirit. But now it’s Batman’s turn. So what’s the Caped Crusader chowing down on?
Sometimes, nothing. A common trope in Batman comics is ever-faithful butler Alfred trying to get Bruce to eat. Food often sits cold and uneaten next to the Bat-Computer, despite his best efforts. He is, apparently, much more successful in feeding the actual bats that call the cave home. But, sometimes, Batman takes a bite out of more than just crime.
Bacon and eggs, that’s a solid red-blooded start to the day. (DC Comics)
Early comics show Batman eating an “Olympian” diet of steak and salad while out on the town as Bruce Wayne. The 60s Batman TV series featured important lessons from the not-so-Dark Knight like “drink your milk” and “eat your vegetables.” In multiple comics through the modern age, Batman is sometimes shown eating sandwiches while patrolling Gotham’s rooftops — it is rarely discussed where he keeps these sandwiches while fighting crime. And, of course, Batman is one of the few heroes who can withstand Green Arrow’s infamously hot chili. Presumably because he’s Batman.
Batman also tends to avoid drugs and alcohol. Although, there was one time he took super-steroids and wrestled a shark (it was crazy and he vowed never to take steroids again). Bruce Wayne, often seen knocking back a champagne flute, is usually just sipping ginger ale.
Whatever that is, we’re… guessing it’s healthy? (DC Comics)
Outside of the occasional lapse in judgement (like when he had some pizza with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles… and, yes, that happened), Batman sticks to a pretty regimented diet. And he’d have to. Endurance athletes have to eat a lot of calories every day (Olympic superstar Michael Phelps once claimed to eat over 12,000 calories a day), including fruits, vegetables, complex carbs and lean protein.
In other words, a real-life Batman wouldn’t be skipping any meals. So eat your vegetables, kids, and one day you could be just like Batman!*
*IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: No amount of vegetables will make you Batman. Do not try any of the things Batman does at home or on rooftops. Especially not rooftops. Just eat healthy because it’s good for you.
(This article appears in Loot Crate Magazine, February 2017)
(Video credit: El Cid; Batman, DC Comics)
