If you were born in the 80’s or at least were a child of the 90’s, you recall that we had some pretty peculiar toys. Some made a resurgence, even if we can’t figure out why, but some were just plain strange even though we obsessively wanted them. Here’s a few to start your Monday off!
Now, if you’re thinking “Wait, what about __________!? I loved that toy!” then fear not — I intend on revisiting toys quite often as I plow through my childhood and seek out some of the wackier toys we all knew and loved. Or well, were just kinda scared of. I’ve included commercials because sometimes, we may not remember the toy but those jingles are impossible to forget. Let’s get started!
Barnyard Commandos:
Yes, I had all of these. No, I don’t have any of the backpacks anymore. I think I just watched a few too many episodes of Garfield and Friends where U.S. Acres got me all up in my Animal Farm feelings. Militarized sheep just made sense to me, you know?
Dolly Surprise:
Now, I remember being a kid and thinking this was super cool. Logic wasn’t a strong suit of mine as a child, because I wasn’t necessarily aware of why this was so cool. Perhaps I just wished I could grow and shorten my hair on a whim? Not sure. The practicality of this toy was pretty broken as, heaven forbid, you cranked that hair into your doll’s hair or the gears wore out when you released these crimped and crunchy locks from your doll’s head too often — then you were just left with a doll. A weird doll with hair that was mostly resembling you three weeks after your Mom tried to style you with a Flowbee.
Couch Potatoes:
I was obsessed with these. To this day, I’m still not very sure why but I loved them. As one of my ex-boyfriends asked: “Why do you find these hideous hard brown throw-pillows with eyes charming? Move them out of here. They scare me.” and now you know why he’s an Ex.
Food Fighters:
These were right along with the Barnyard Commandos in terms of “This should’ve just stayed as a Happy Meal toy concept but kids will want them, so whatevs.” and that was fine with me. My brother and I collected these and my Mom was quick to be sure that I had the villains and my brother had the heroes. Honestly, all of them were food and we were never really even sure how to play with them if we weren’t emulating the commercial and playing in the kitchen. You know, where the actual food was.
Boglins:
I didn’t personally own all of these but this was during the era where vinyl and foam hand-puppets were all the rage, I guess? I mean, Pizza Hut nearly bankrupted my parents with those Land Before Time puppets alone. We were all about the puppetry back in the day as kids apparently. Ghostofthedoll has quite a bit of information about not just Boglins but other toys you may remember and man, do they ever info-dive! I love it!
Puppy Surprise:
Kids from the 90’s had a real strong desire to be surprised. I mean, we’ve already covered Dolly Surprise and here we have Puppy Surprise. I know what some of you may be thinking and no, puppies do not shoot out of pigtails on this colorful pup. Instead, well, they give birth to smaller stuffed animals. Via C-Section. Yeah, I don’t know why toy makers thought being a doula to a dog was something every child was fascinated with but, you know, obviously we were.
Annnnnd they rebooted this toy-line. Scratch that. We weren’t fascinated. We ARE fascinated.
