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GAMING: The Craziest Pokédex Entries
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GAMING: The Craziest Pokédex Entries

December 18th, 2019 Hannah Hoffman Features

At this point, everyone knows the concept of Pokémon is a LITTLE messed up. Let’s be real, we’re trapping wild animals and making them fight each other until one passes out. Not great.

But STILL. It’s surprising how dark some of the Pokédex entries can get. Like… You alright, Pokémon writers? Who hurt you?


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Yamask

“Each of them carries a mask that used to be its face when it was human. Sometimes they look at it and cry.” – Pokémon Black

A surprising amount of Pokédex entries center around the idea that dead humans turn into Pokémon and wow this one is sad. There’s an episode of the show all about a Yamask trying to get his mask back from a museum. That makes me want to cry for a long time.


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Gorebyss

“When it spots prey, this Pokémon inserts its thin mouth into the prey’s body and drains the prey of its body fluids.” – Pokémon Sapphire

That’s wasteful, Gorebyss. Eat the whole thing, you coward.


The Pokémon Company

Drifloon

“It is whispered that any child who mistakes Drifloon for a balloon and holds on to it could wind up missing.” – Pokémon HeartGold

“Stories go that it grabs the hands of small children and drags them away to the afterlife. It dislikes heavy children.” – Pokémon Sun

“Its round body is stuffed with souls and expands each time it leads someone away.” – Pokémon Ultra Sun

Drifloon’s entries are some of the spookiest ones I’ve ever seen. This Pokémon literally kidnaps children and takes their souls. Also, it specifically doesn’t like heavy kids. What the heck, Pokémon. 


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Cacturne

“If a traveler is going through a desert in the thick of night, Cacturne will follow in a ragtag group. The Pokémon are biding their time, waiting for the traveler to tire and become incapable of moving.” – Pokémon Sapphire

Now Cacturne’s entries aren’t quite as overtly upsetting as Drifloon’s, but they are so ominous. Like… what do they do to you when you stop moving… they eat you? Probably? Wow, I don’t like this entry.


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Phantump

“According to old tales, these Pokémon are stumps possessed by the spirits of children who died while lost in the forest.” – Pokémon Y

Man, Pokémon can’t get enough of child death and soul-stealing. 


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Froslass

“When it finds humans or Pokémon it likes, it freezes them and takes them to its chilly den, where they become decorations.” – Pokémon Sun

This entry is one of my favorites. Froslass freezes people and uses them as decorations?? Amazing. Wait until Pinterest hears about this. 


The Pokémon Company

Yveltal

“When its life comes to an end, it absorbs the life energy of every living thing and turns into a cocoon once more.” – Pokémon Y

Okay, so first of all, woah. When Yveltal dies, we all die. That’s concerning.

Second of all, if we know this, why are we battling with him???


Those are MY favorite crazy Pokédex entries. Tell me all about YOUR favorites on Twitter!

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Hannah Hoffman

Oh hi, I'm Hannah. I like games, both video and board. Zelda, The Elder Scrolls, and Dungeons & Dragons are my favorite children. Don't tell the others. You should click my face and read the things I wrote.

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